N is for Nourishment

I'm convinced that self-care is the Achilles heel of so many of us in the healing arts. And parents raising young ones. And teachers. And anyone dedicated to service. I'm confounded by how loving, patient, giving, accepting we can be in our daily work with others, while forgetting to extend basic nurture to ourselves. Without sustaining ourselves with consistent deep care, our work is truly unsustainable.

So in search of elusive balance, this year I've been following what nourishes me. Keeping up my own creative practice and playing well with others is vital. Yes, it's true. I am my own kindergartener! This has led me to join a writers workshop, create and teach a dreams and collage workshop with a friend, make occasional art dates, take movement exploration classes, and give myself a retreat with kindred spirits. It continues to be a year of rich inner life, which has served me well.

A nutritionist I know calls those things that most feed us 'primary nutrition.' So not just food, air, water, rest. It may be hanging with people who know you best and love you anyway. Being your sensual self. Hula hooping, old car souping up, refining your barbecue sauce recipe, learning more Italian. It could be something no one's ever heard of, yet is important to you.

How do you know what feeds you? Follow the soul longing. What would you regret not being and not doing at the end of your life? Which people, places, things inspire you? Who and what helps you feel aligned with your higher purpose, even if you don't quite know what that is?

Now that I'm tending to what's important, I'm getting a clearer sense of what is enough. I don't have to chase after every retreat or training or book or experience to complete me. I can discern and follow what nourishes me. And filling myself with my true life, I'm reaching the tipping point of naturally spilling out in generous service to others.

L is for Luck

I was surprised to find myself engaged in deep conversation with my seat mate for the whole duration of the flight. Usually I travel in my own cocoon of solitude. Something in me recognized Wayne as an 'important stranger' and this meeting as just the Medicine I needed. Perhaps you know people like Wayne, or maybe you are like him - uplifting, grateful, blessed, curious, open, willing. Essentially happy. It's contagious - even now when I think of our unexpected meeting, I am all those things too.

Wayne told me he wakes up thinking, "Please, God, let me help just one person today." He really means it, and I felt happy to receive help arising out of his solid intention. I'd been wondering how to find a great general contractor for my parents, whose home we are de-cluttering and prepping for eventual sale. Wayne owns many rental properties in that area and highly recommends his own meticulous contractor. I gratefully took the referral.

What luck, right? I never stated the intention to find a contractor, just put it on my back burner to 'figure out' later. With natural ease a great lead found me. Just because I was open to it.

Wayne and I are kindred spirits: went to the same university years apart, and both of our career paths have led to more joyful purpose. He's inspired by his wife's courage facing cancer and looks for and thankfully receives the miracles of her healing. He passes on hope in the telling of her courage. We shared about experiences caring for parents in assisted living and how illness can strengthen family ties. We agreed that it is the greatest gift to be able to serve from contentment, joy, and satisfaction. I walked away feeling grateful and happy, offering blessings back to his wife and family.

So here's what I think about luck. Wayne, like other friends aligned with their divine life 's purpose, make their own luck with their intentions. They show up to serve others for the sheer joy of it. He seems to expect to find common ground, anticipating the discovery of just how he's already connected to a new acquaintance. A natural networker looking to serve. I've decided this is a key to my happiness, setting the intention to connect with people and being open to what connections are revealed. Finding another in the flow of giving and receiving. Let me know how luck and intention have served you. I'd love to hear your stories.

K is for kinfolk

I'm on a family visit, helping out my ailing parents find more supportive living arrangements. I could not be here and be truly of service to my mom and dad without the loving support of My People. Most immediately, I mean my beloved younger sister and her wild and wonderful husband, my brother-in-law. We plan these trips together to offer mutual support and have fun and kick ass on cleaning our family's homestead to prepare it for sale. My brother and older sister do the same, forming the elder sibs team. Not only am I lucky enough to be related by blood and by marriage to these amazing people, I also get to enjoy them as my chosen kith and kin. Friends who are also relatives are a double blessing.

What would we do without our kinfolk, those people close to us, whose souls sing with ours? When I stop to think of the circles of kin I have, it's like the water rippling out from the center of a lake, where I've cast a stone of longing for belonging.  My man, my mate, is my main anchor back home. My parents, with whom I feel closest than I ever have, are another anchor for me now.  (Perhaps it's because I'm now interested in being of service to them, rather than obsessing about what I didn't get from them when I was a young one. Surprisingly enough, I am acting like a grown up! Watch out, it may happen to the best of us!) My friends, my clients, my colleagues, my teachers, my ex-friends - all these ripples of kin surround me, support me, and I carry them all in my ever enlarging heart.  

Of course, this leads me back to my favorite theme, gratitude. I'm learning to let in the support of my kith and kin, to belong, to feel connected in the giving and receiving flow of Us. Who do you count as Your People? Make sure you let them know often that you love and appreciate them. It'll bring a smile, a tear, a heart opening laugh. Try it and let me know.