24-3-7

Winter is the season of mending and tending. Relationships need care all year round, but the dark season somehow illuminates where we need to clearly say NO or YES to people and situations that are not right for us.

One of my teachers Angeles Arrien has a 24-3-7 rule. When a problem arises, it's your responsibility to address it within 24 hours. If you can't do that, do it within 3 days. And if you can't do that, do it within 7 days. A week is enough time to be unresolved with yourself and with another.

24-3-7 holds space and time for a truly creative response to the problem. For visually dominant people - those who sense the world most strongly through sight and images - it takes a long time to even realize that something off-kilter happened. Then it takes more time to know their feelings about it and to get clear on a creative response. 7 days gives even slow processors a limit to being swamped by a problem.

If you are somatic or kinesthetic, you are at an advantage in knowing sooner that something needs to be addressed. The wise body does not lie, gives clues to what is amiss with common symptoms like insomnia, upset stomach, or headache.

This happened to me recently with a client.  It took telling the story many times to colleagues before I heard what I was saying. I did not feel good about working with this person, and my body symptoms were saying NO. My process unfolded slowly over the week, and by the time I was clear, I had to wait a few more days to be able to reach this person.  I said what I needed to say to this person, and it was done within 7 days.

Even if you are a slow processor, fearful of speaking up and rocking the boat, do it. Take that 7 days if you need to, but listen to your wise body and practice saying NO to people, places, things that are not right for you. It opens the door to be able to say YES to what is nourishing for your journey.