H is for Humility

I was once given a sacred instrument for prayer, rather it was bestowed upon me. The bestower jokingly said, "Earn This." If you ever saw Saving Private Ryan you know these words and their enormity. It's no joke to be deemed worthy of having a sacred thing given to you. It's overwhelming and scary sometimes. It's daunting to consider how you could possibly live up to the expectation of being/doing enough to carry the gift forward. Truly humbling.

The parent given a child to raise, the artist with her gift, the one who fears his own power. All humbled. Do we/they have the courage to know our worth and embody it?

This life is so big, deep, vast, wide, and graced. Do you ever list everything in your life that is good? Do you pray?
You can spend a lot a lot a lot of time in prayer just saying thanks, which is something I used to do with the aforementioned sacred instrument. In the end, you have to say "and thanks for everyone and everything else in my heart." It is humbling to recognize the immensity of our hearts and all that touches us. The word 'humble' is related to 'human' and 'humus.' Bringing you to your knees, prostrate even, down to earth. Close to all the people, places, things that hold you up.

Recently I came up against this familiar painful sense of not feeling worthy of all the amazingness in my life. I heard a little voice in me agree that you can never do enough. This overwhelming fear of failing has been sitting on my joy for a while. YOU CAN NEVER DO ENOUGH. Hearing this was sobering, it was the bald truth, and I felt the meditation bell moment of accepting it. And then in the face of that truth, the little voice went on to say: BUT YOU CAN TRY.

It reminds me of TaKeTiNa, a fun and challenging whole body learning through rhythm. TaKeTiNa is about community, call and response, bicameral brain coordination, stress reduction, and many other things. But the whole point in learning these increasingly complex polyrhythms the indigenous way is this: you are bound to fail, to fall out of rhythm. It's human, humbling.

The trick is to let yourself fail and fall out. By listening and going back to the basics, your bodymind is caught up by the group, and you fall back into rhythm again. The being out of sync and being exactly on the beat have their own rhythm. Your unique pulse of learning and integrating. It is bliss to be completely at one with others in song, motion, blood and bones in joy. And can you be kind to yourself, laugh at yourself when you're thinking and thus falling out?

What humbles you?